This a question many comedians are facing: what’s funny about Barack Obama? And, if so, is it not so offensive that it can’t be said? This article sort of gives us an idea of the problems that comedians will face when trying to roast Obama, and they are rather unprecedented.

One “comedian” (I personally think he’s a hack), Jimmy Kimmel, tried to address the question in a black barbershop in on one of his recent shows:

Interesting questions. However, I’m sure that as time goes on and Obama actually, you know, becomes President, we’ll find plenty to laugh (and cry) about.

That said, it was a pleasure blogging for Policuse this semester. I hope you enjoyed our slice of the poliblogointernetosphere.

Never forget MC ROVE.

Goodnight and goodluck, Matt.

In honor of my final Policuse post, let’s focus today on a constant theme throughout our posts: Confusion. The people running this country often seem to know even less about what’s going on than the rest of us do and are often blinded by bizarre and depressing occurrences. It’s not even 5:00 today and the news has been inundated with examples. So grab a bottle of your favorite liquor and join me for a stroll through today’s messed-up world.

Missing ballots found, still missing

A search for 133 missing ballots through a Minneapolis warehouse today stumbled upon a few missing ballots. Unfortunately, searchers only found 12 absentee ballots that no one even knew were missing.  It may seem like searching for a needle in a haystack, but hear not. Officials are “dismantling the entire haystack.”

Shouldn’t we have this whole voting thing down by now?

Something like a collapse

Economists originally estimated  that 350,000 jobs would be lost in November. The numbers are now in and they were off by, oh, about 180,000 jobs. According to economist Ian Shepherdson, “We have gone from a recession into something that looks like a collapse.”

20 dead in Pakistan

A bomb was detonated in Northern Pakistan, killing 20 people and wounding 80 more. Apparently it was originally intended for Shia Muslims, but the detonator was frustrated by security. The first major retaliation for the Mumbai shootings? Who knows. We have more important things to worry about, like . ..

The Juice

It’s about time he goes to jail but, in light of all the news I listed above, does this really deserve the front page of every major news source? What the hell is wrong with our priorities?

In a recent column, Slate’s Ron Rosenbaum goes to great lengths to disprove the reemerging rumor  that Nazi leader Adolf Hitler only had one testicle.  This rumor, which has been around forever, has reappeared in the English tabloids this month, in papers like The Sun (headline: Hitler HAD only got one ball) and the London Telegraph.  

In a Nov. 19 story, Alex Peake of The Sun claims that he has found a new document that validated  the rumor.  Peake writes:

 

 

Johan’s friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed the priest’s account of how the medic saved Hitler’s life. He said: “In 1916 they had their hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme.

“For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers. He remembers Hitler.

“They called him the ‘Screamer.’ He was very noisy. Hitler was screaming ‘help, help.’

“His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was: ‘Will I be able to have children?’ “

Blassius said that when the Nazis swept to power Johan began to suffer nightmares and blame himself for saving Hitler.

 

 

There’s a problem, however.  Peake never produces any document validating his claims.Perhaps somebody should have asked to see the document before the article went to publication, idk.   When Rosenbaum of Slate e-mailed Peake asking for the document, he received no response.  As a scholar of the Nazi leader, Rosenbaum suggests that people use this rumor to try to understand what made Hitler Hitler.  These psycho-historians suggest that there must be something in Hitler’s sexual history that made him who he was.  Some have claimed that Hitler was gay while others have contended that he lost a testicle during pubescence.

The question is, ‘what’s the point’?  Claims about Hitler’s sexuality and – what shall we call it? – testicular fortitude are ultimately irrelevant.  We know the man was  one of the worst villains in the history of the world, but looking into his sexual history has failed to provide us with anything but  salacious newspaper headlines.  It’s time to put this rumor to rest. As Rosenbaum writes:

There’s no excuse now for this incessant dwelling on Hitler’s sexuality, as if it tells us anything about the true nature of his evil. No, all the obsession can tell us about is the way the culture as a whole exhibits a refusal to face the profundity and complexity of evil and instead—with some honorable exceptions—prefers to escape responsibility for Hitler and the Holocaust by blaming it all on ludicrously unserious and ahistorical sexual mythologies, and the Freudian-influenced notion that all behavior has a sexual explanation at heart.

I once thought that, barring death, Barack Obama would become the next president of the United States in a few months. I was wrong.

Apparently there are several groups that haven’t given up on the dream of keeping African Americans out of the White House.

Slate ran a story today that lists a few and then asks the inevitable question — What the hell?

It’s time to move on, guys. Obama’s not an illegal citizen, a Muslim (so what if he was?) or a terrorist. Those theories have all been put to rest numerous times.

But, in honor of the crackpots mentioned in slate, here are a few other crazy theories:

Obama is an atomic weapon

The dinosaur theory

And, finally, barbaric!

I know it’s not a conspiracy theory, but it is terrific.

It’s easy to forget in, all the excitement surrounding the President-Elect and the new incoming administration, and all the economic stuff that George W. Bush is still the President. Wonder what he’s been up to? Well, I’m telling you anyway.

He’s apparently pretty anxious to get out of Washington D.C., having already purchased a nice little pad in Dallas, TX. Wow, he’s living in Texas? What a shocking turn of events this is, stop the presses. Oh wait, presses barely exist anymore. Well, stop the internets?

Anyway, he also lit the national Christmas tree. Again, lots of fun, substantial activity. My point?  This basically sums up Bush’s activity since election day. The man has been hiding in the shadows since then, and has been virtually invisible during the economic crisis. As controversial and unpopular as he’s been, it’s pretty pathetic to watch him shrivel up into his spot in history.

Other Bush news:

Brother Jeb wants to be a Florida Senator! My question: can anyone with the name Bush be elected again in the United States? My answer: yes. They’re just too damn good at getting elected not to, and I doubt Jeb will have much trouble getting elected in a state in which he was governor.

Politco has been all over the story that NBC blowhard Chris Matthews is gearing for Republican Arlen Specter’s Pennsylvania Senate seat in 2010. The site is reporting that Matthews will quit “Hardball” soon to move forward with his campaign.   What’s interesting to me is that no other major news sources have confirmed or even reported politico’s findings. The New York Times hasn’t touched the Matthews story since a blog post in October.  The Washington Post has followed the story but still lags behind Politico’s reporting.

I hope Matthews, if elected, can get along with the Secretary of State.

Such is the age we live in.  We can find constant breaking news on sites like Politico and The Huffington Post, but what can we believe? Right now, Politico sources on the story include anonymous  ”NBC colleagues, political operatives and friends”, so maybe we should hold off until confirmation from more reliable sources.

 I guess one of the reasons why newspapers are struggling is simply because they are getting beat to exclusive stories by the internet.  Just this week , NYT and other news organizations had to give attribution to The Huffington Post and Politico on all stories related to David Gregory as the new moderator of “Meet the Press” .   I imagine that newspaper writers everywhere cringe when they have to give  credit to bloggers and political news Web sites.

Anywho, here are some relevant links for your political consumption:

In case Matthews is actually running, a lengthy NYT’s profile on the Holy Cross alum.

The Franken-Coleman race and  the prowl for missing ballots.

Washington Senators continue to eviscerate leaders from the Big Three.

How incoming White House chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel made $18 million in two and a half years.

Barack Obama discuses his promise to get out of Iraq in 16 months.

Keep watching the Harvard endowment as it continues to plunge!  Anybody have $8 billion lying around?

I live in constant dread of 2012, the year the Mayans predicted the earth will cease to be. Now, thanks to Joe Biden and a government report, I have even more reason to fear 2012. Even if we make it past 2012 safely, apparently some sort of attack by a weapon of mass destruction will occur by 2013. But don’t worry, it’ll most likely be biological rather than nuclear.

The report says that “unless the world community acts decisively and with great urgency, it is more likely than not that a weapon of mass destruction will be used in a terrorist attack somewhere in the world by the end of 2013.”

That attack could be as small as a single anthrax-coated letter. Or it could be, um, bigger.

Future Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano and Biden both said it’s time for the U.S. to “act urgently, deliberately and in concert with nations across the globe.”

That’s big talk for an administration that already has a recession and two wars to deal with. But, judging by the rate things are moving and the volatile nature of the world, dealing with weapons of mass destruction is an increasing priority. The only effective way to deal with them is through global communication and cooperation, so maybe Amtrak Joe’s getting ready for some useful conversation once his team is sworn in.

On the other hand, if the Mayan’s predicted it, there’s no point fighting the inevitable . . .

If you’re from a state other than California, congratulations: your home state FAILS at making college affordable for the average student. In a study called Measuring Up 2008, which is fresh off the presses, almost all of the states received a grade of “F” for making college affordable.

Hey, here’s a possible reason:

-From 1982 to 2007, the median family’s income rose 147 percent

-In that same period, the cost of college tuition rose 439 percent

He falls into the "played a math genius" category.

You don’t have to be a math genius, or even play a math genius, to know that such a discrepancy will lead to problems such as the predatory lending practices I assailed earlier.

So, the next question is, why did SkyNe…err, California, rise to the highest spot? According to report, it seems California has a massive and extraordinary community college system. An astounding 2.5 million of the Govenator’s subjects attend community college and at an average cost of $594 a year.

Granted, not every state can be expected to match CA’s financial muscle. But it certainly at least provides a winning formula for states seeking to make realistic decisions about the future of college affordability for their residents.

California's financial muscle.

Photo from the Seattle Times

Today, Barack Obama announced New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson as his secretary of commerce.  More importantly, the President-elect offered these words about Richardson’s facial hair:

I’m going to answer this question about the beard. I think it was mistake for him to get rid of it. I thought that whole western rugged look was really working for him. For some reason, maybe because it was scratchy when he kissed his wife, he was forced to get rid of it. But we’re deeply disappointed with the loss of the beard

It’s good to see Obama is keeping his sense of humor amid all this transition madness.  Personally I like Richardson sans beard, what do you think?  

Photo via Playboy magazine (lol)

In other news, students at Syracuse University will get an advance look at “Frost/Nixion”, which my history professor Margaret Thompson said should be a pretty solid movie.   A screening of the movie, which is based on the BBC interviews with the disgraced former president, will be held at the Herg at 7:30 p.m. Thursday .  SU alumnus William Connor was the associate producer of the movie.   

Keep watching the Al Franken-Norm Coleman Senate race.  The Coleman camp says they have pulled ahead by 22 votes.   Talk about a close election!

(too bad for Franken that that guy  voted for lizard people!)

Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell made a controversial remark about Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano, the President-elects secretary of homeland security appointment. Quote via politico:

“Janet’s perfect for that job. Because for that job, you have to have no life,” Rendell said, apparently unaware that the lectern mike was still hot. “Janet has no family, perfect. She can devote, literally, 19 to 20 hours a day to it.” 

Rendell should have realized the political dangers of the hot mic.

CNN commentary claiming that the Big Three might not survive a bailout.   While the U.A.W. says it is willing to make some concessions to make things easier.  And a comment by Elizabeth Kolbert of The New Yorker on letting Detroit fail.

Keep watching the developments between Congressman Charles Rangel and The New York Times.  The two seem to disagree on Rangel’s failure to report profits on his rent-stabilized apartments.  Rangel is on the all-important Ways and Means committee.

And lastly, some Sarah Palin poetry via Slate.